“My Birth was my Final Exam” | A Midwife’s Homebirth to Cesarean Journey
This is the birth story of Lucca, the first child of Babi, who is now a home birth midwife, and her husband Joey. Babi took her final exam for midwifery school a few weeks before her son Lucca was born. Little did she know that her sweet boy would teach her a few more lessons before she began her career!
I was honored to be their birth photographer for her Gainesville birth! Enjoy this birth story, written by Babi and Joey themselves.
“I believe that we have the birth we need, not the birth we want.”
That was my motto during the (endless) last few weeks of pregnancy. I consider myself a really intuitive person, and right before I took a pregnancy test, I was sure about three things: I was pregnant, I was going to have a baby boy, and I was going to give birth around 39 weeks. Sure enough, my two pregnancy tests were positive and a few weeks later, we found out we were expecting our Lucca! If I was right about the two, of course I was going to be right about when he was going to be born. Well…baby Lucca had lots of other plans for his birth!
When I was 41 weeks, I asked my midwife, Andie, for a membrane sweep. When she checked me, I was closed, the baby was high and she was not able to perform it. I kept doing all the things to try to induce labor naturally, only leaving the castor oil as a last resort! But again, I was sure we were not going to get to that point…
I woke up at 41 weeks and 5 days and again, nothing. No contractions, no changes. So I made an egg and cheese burrito, ate it and then took the Midwives Brew [drink mixed with castor oil], with a shot of apple cider afterwards so I didn’t have to taste it much. As a student midwife, I had seen the power of it! I decided to go back to bed and wait for the adventure to begin. But the clock hit 10, 11, noon and nothing. I took the other dose at 1:50 pm.
We went for our walk, and we talked about how our lives were about to change. That no matter what, Lucca was going to be home soon. We were both excited, and as we talked, I started to feel some cramps that felt like menstrual cramps. I started telling Joey when I was getting those cramps, and he started noticing they were pretty regular. I got so excited! It was finally happening, and even better: it wasn’t even hurting that much!
I set up everything for the birth, a table of snacks for the birth team, and I was feeling so relieved! It was finally happening, our baby boy was going to arrive soon! At 8:40 pm my water broke! At that point, the contractions were increasing in intensity, but I was still able to talk through them.
The only interesting thing is that I could not stand still, I had to walk every time I had a contraction!
We messaged Andie, and she said she would head our way.
My whole family lives in Brazil, and everybody was so excited and with their phones in hand just waiting for news! Andie arrived at our apartment around 10 pm and when she checked me I was 4 cm dilated, but she could stretch me to 6 cm, and Lucca was lower than he was before! Things were moving along just like they were supposed to, and I got excited!
We called Dallas, our photographer (she lives in Jacksonville) and Emily, our doula, and told them they could head our way.
Things shifted and became really intense. I was walking non-stop all over the apartment, from the kitchen, to the living room, to our room.
Joey: “She walked during the entire labor, and that's because that's how she felt she needed to handle it. She knew herself and her body.”
I spent the last 3 months of pregnancy taking daily baths and listening to my birth playlist. I was sure Lucca was going to be born in the tub. I got in when it was half filled and oh my god! It was the worst idea! The contractions felt so much more intense, I had to beg Joey to take me out! He helped me, and was trying to dry my legs, but I needed to walk. I ran to our room, and I remember so clearly that I bent over our dresser, looked at Joey and said I couldn’t do it anymore. He assured me I could, and asked me if I wanted to call Andie. I said yes, and wanted to be checked again because I thought that because of my behavior, I was in transition. Sure enough, I was around 8cm dilated! That gave me a little boost of encouragement and I kept walking and walking.
Emily (my doula) and Dallas (our photographer) arrived. I remember saying a brief hello for both of them (it was all I could do!) and kept walking.
From this point, things are a little blurry in my mind. I remember my playlist playing my favorite songs, Joey following me, my birth team all there. (Gina, the birth assistant, also arrived, but I have no idea when!)
Everything was going perfect, just like I wanted.
And then I started feeling the famous urge to push. It was so powerful to feel how my body was just doing exactly what it was supposed to, without even realizing.
It was 2:36 am when Joey messaged our families and said I was starting to push. We were all excited! I couldn’t believe our baby boy was going to arrive soon!
I pushed in all positions you can possibly imagine.
On the toilet…
…squatting…
…laying in bed…
…kneeling…
Joey: “She was a champion. She never gave up and it was amazing to see how powerful she was.”
The most comfortable position (if I can say that!) was squatting and holding my bed frame. I realized I was not feeling the pain from the contractions, but a huge pressure instead. After awhile, I could feel Lucca’s head, and oh, how that gave me even more strength to keep going!
Joey and Emily were keeping me hydrated, Andie kept encouraging me, everything was good.
Joey: “I think it can be difficult for the partner during labor because we act as observers most of the time, and helpers some of the time. It was difficult to see my wife in pain and struggling while I was just watching.”
Joey: “Even when I held her hand, rubbed her hair, gave her water, and talked to her, labor is way more intense than anything I can do. I'm not the midwife or the assistant or the doula, so I felt like I played such a small role, but I just responded to her needs and helped in any way I could and that was enough.”
But after some time, my contractions started spacing out and Lucca stopped descending. Andie told me a few times to empty my bladder, but I couldn’t. We tried all the tricks, but I couldn’t pee.
At a certain time, I asked Andie how long I was pushing. She told me that I was pushing for 2 hours, and since all our vital signs were good, I decided to keep pushing for a little longer. After that, we tried everything:
…pumping…
…rebozo…
…changing positions, catheterizing my bladder to try to empty it…
My contractions kept spacing out and Lucca was still in the same station.
Around 6 am, we all talked and decided it was time to go to the hospital. It was a hard decision, because I was so close! But I knew it was better to transfer while we were stable, than to wait for it to become an emergency.
Joey: “She did everything she could to deliver. Going to the hospital was heartbreaking for her, but she was confident with every decision because it was best.”
Andie was so kind, and made sure I felt we did everything we could at home, and I sure did. I called my parents to tell them and let them know that I was okay while my birth team loaded the car and cleaned the house.
No one but Joey could come with us to the hospital because of the COVID-19 guidelines. Dallas was generous enough to let us borrow a camera so we could take pictures when Lucca was born. All the team was so kind and supportive during the decision of transferring. It definitely made a huge difference.
Even though it was hard to leave and not have my planned home birth, I had the chance to experience almost all of it! And I am really thankful for that.
Andie rode to the hospital with us, and let me tell you… that car ride was so crazy! I felt so much pressure, had no position at all to be at least a little comfortable. Lucca was low, so at every contraction, I had the feeling he was going to be born. Funny thing: when people asked me why I wanted a home birth, I always answered that I was terrified about having contractions in the car. Sure enough, there I was, experiencing what I feared the most!
We got to the hospital and again, due to COVID, Andie couldn’t go in with us. She called in advance to let them know we were in our way, but when we got to L&D they didn’t believe I was complete. They wanted to put me in triage, but as soon as I had a contraction and they saw that I was pushing, they admitted me.
At that point, I was done with the whole natural birth thing! I told Joey that if Lucca made us go to the hospital, we were going to get the full deal: yes, epidural as soon as possible!
The midwife and doctor came in with our nurse, Stephanie, an angel - we were so lucky to have her with us the whole time - and we decided I was going to take the epidural, they were going to give me some pitocin to try to get my contractions to pick up closer together again, I was going to try to rest a little and start pushing again.
I was a whole new person after the epidural and a few hours of sleep, and soon we were back to pushing. Again, the nurse could see Lucca, I could feel his head, but he was not really convinced it was time to be born!
Around 2:30 pm, the doctor came in and we decided to go in for a Cesarean. We had tried everything we could, but something was impeding Lucca to come out. At that time, I just wanted my baby boy to be born, safe and healthy.
Image by hospital staff
Image by hospital staff
We got to the OR, and before I knew it, they were already starting the surgery. At 3:44pm on November 2nd, our baby boy arrived.
Joey: “During the C-Section I was with her; just holding her hand and rubbing her hair, but I could see what was happening as well. It's indescribable watching your wife being cut open and seeing four hands dig through her insides. At that point all I could do wait for it to be over and hope that everything was going to be okay.”
Image by hospital staff
Lucca gave us a huge scare! As soon as they delivered him, I heard them saying his APGAR was 1. I couldn’t hear him crying, and when I asked if he was okay, they didn’t have an answer.
In my head, I knew exactly what was going on, and that was the most terrifying moment of my life. At that moment, I just prayed and hoped he was okay. They did all the resuscitation procedures, quickly showed him to me and took a picture, and took him to the NICU.
Image by hospital staff
Joey: “I don't believe the staff responded to us appropriately during the C-Section, and we were both very distraught during the surgery and immediately afterwards. All I could do was try to make sure my wife was okay emotionally.”
Image by hospital staff
Image by hospital staff
I didn’t have my planned home birth, or my golden hour with delayed cord clamp, immediate skin to skin, nursing in the first hour. And that was really hard, but nothing was worse than being left in the OR with no answers, and not knowing if our baby was okay. Joey sat by my side, held my hand, and we cried.
Here, I just want to stop for a second and thank him. The whole time, the whole labor, he was my support, my strength, my safety. Even when we were both worried and heartbroken, he was my rock. Thank you, babe. I could not do it without you.
A nurse came and told Joey he could go to the NICU, and he video called me from there so we could talk to the doctor. Lucca needed some help to breathe, so he was in the CPAP, with a feeding tube, IVs with antibiotics and so many wires all over him. I worked in a NICU before, but you are never prepared to see your baby in that situation. It was heartbroken to see him like that, to not be able to be there with him and Joey. At the same time, it made me feel good to have Joey there, so our little boy wasn’t alone and that they had some bonding time. I know they both needed it.
I was only able to see him at 6 am the next day. I barely slept, and I remember spending the night looking at the clock just waiting to hit 6 o'clock and be able to finally meet my Lucca.
I got to the NICU, and there he was - all the 6 lbs and 11 oz of him! My baby boy, the little one that made me a mom! He was perfect! And I cannot put in words what meant to hold him, hear his little cry, and breastfeed him for the first time! I had the feeling that I was dreaming, it was hard to believe that I finally had him in my arms! And in that moment, all the tiredness, all the worries, they were all gone - I had my two boys with me and that was all I needed!
Joey: “She had no fear in doing what was best for our baby. Nothing stopped her from seeing him, from feeding him, from bonding with him. She didn't get a chance to register the labor and C-Section; she just made sure that the baby was okay. So, that meant a trip to the NICU every two hours for four days, and nothing stopped her. The entire birth was so far from what we planned and what she wanted, and being separated at birth and with him being in the NICU, I watched my wife's heart break, and it was difficult for both of us. Still, nothing stopped her. She's such a strong person and a strong mother. I hope she knows that her children are secure with her in their lives.”
Lucca stayed in the NICU for 3 days, and we went home to start the real adventure!
Dallas did our newborn session a few weeks after, and not only took amazing pictures, she also listened to us. Listened to our story, and it was so important for me to be able to just say it out loud, and feel heard and cared for.
I always joke saying that Lucca was my final exam, because he made me go through all types of births and experiences!
And even though it was not the birth I planned and envisioned (and now that some good time has passed and I had time to process it all), I am grateful. Grateful that he is here and healthy, grateful for all the experience and all I learned. Grateful for my amazing birth team, that not only supported me during my birth, but also postpartum - what was essential!
Lucca means light. And it is a perfectly fitting name for this little boy that arrived in his own way, brightening our lives with his presence!
Joey: “It was great to have Dallas there. She was respectful of our space and being able to talk to her well before the end of the pregnancy gave me the confidence that she knew what we expected of her. She was hardly ‘in our space,’ was super kind the entire time, and never wanted for anything. It was an intense labor, so having Dallas there gave me some ease because I knew that this time was being recorded. I'm glad we had her there, because there was so much that we saw in the pictures that we didn't realize during labor.”
Just like I expected, Dallas was professional and so discrete during birth! I remember her getting into my house and that was it - she was invisible the rest of the night! Her pictures are just amazing...they are more than just documentation of the moment, They bring up emotions and feelings. They are so touching! She was also so kind, so patient, always available and ready to listen - both during my endless last weeks of pregnancy and after the birth, when she listened to my birth story. It really meant a lot!
Thank you, Babi and Joey, for sharing Lucca’s story! It was an honor to witness and document your strength. I know that your birth story will become part of your identity as a midwife and will bring comfort, hope, and validation to countless other families over the course of your new career!
-Dallas
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