A Healing, Unmedicated Hospital Birth | North Florida Regional
Birth can be healing. One empowering, life-changing experience can shed light and love on some difficult moments in the past, and birth can be that catalyst.
This is the healing birth story of baby Ike, the second precious child of Hailey and Zach. I was so happy to be part of their birth team as both their doula and birth photographer. After hearing Hailey’s long and difficult birth story with their first baby, I knew that helping her to feel safe, validated, and relaxed during her labor and birth was going to be so important. I was so incredibly proud of her…she was amazing!
And yes, this is a Gainesville birth! I live in Jacksonville, but I do occasionally serve doula and birth photography/videography clients in Gainesville, so if you are in that area, I’d love to support you and help you tell your birth story.
-Dallas
I feel so blessed by the healing, joyful experience of giving birth to my son, Ike.
Almost three years earlier, I gave birth to my daughter, Ruthie. Her birth was long, difficult, and very scary for both my husband and me. I felt betrayed by my body and "less than" for not being able to give birth or breastfeed in the way that I had hoped to. When I became pregnant again in 2020, I decided to do everything in my power to take care of myself during the pregnancy and to let go of expectations around giving birth or feeding in a particular way. My second pregnancy was much easier than my first, I think due largely to the care and attention I lavished upon myself. I went to the chiropractor, received mental health care, did pelvic floor physical therapy, built my birth "dream team," and responded to my body's needs for movement and rest.
The day of Ike’s birth felt divinely ordained, like the stars all aligned to conspire and welcome him earthside. I spent some time with my husband, Zach, and Ruthie, before heading to an acupuncture appointment. My contractions started almost immediately after I left the appointment. I decided to ignore the contractions for awhile, until it became clear that I was really in labor this time! Zach and I dropped our daughter off to spend the afternoon with my parents, then headed home.
I lost part of my mucus plug and I texted Dallas. I was still in total denial that I was already in labor! Meanwhile, I was thankful for a quiet, peaceful house, as I continued to work through contractions. I touched base with Dallas again, and she suggested that she start heading to Gainesville from her home in Jacksonville. I was still worried about the contractions being a false alarm, but she reassured me that she was happy to head my way regardless. I went to a chiropractor appointment, and after I left, the contractions picked up a little in intensity again. The pain still felt very manageable though! I felt very happy and relaxed, and still wasn’t convinced I was really in labor!
Dallas arrived around 5pm, and helped gently nudge me into relaxing and settling in rather than cleaning and organizing. I decided to labor in my bedroom, which felt comfortable and safe to me. I made the bed, lit some candles, and turned on the birth playlist that I had made.
Contractions were painful, but still easy to breathe through. I found leaning forward on pillows to be very comfortable, since it took some weight off of my belly.
I decided to stop timing my contractions, and Dallas took over timing them instead. I think that was important for me, to stop thinking about how regular my contractions were and simply focus on my body and my baby.
I asked my parents to bring Ruthie by the house, so that she could be part of our birth experience. My mom brought her over, and she was SO excited that “her baby” seemed to be on the way.
She was laughing and rolling around the bed, just being silly. It was a really special time together! After a bit, we decided it was time for her to go back to her grandparents’ house. We hugged her goodbye, and settled back in.
My contractions continued to slowly progress and build in closeness and intensity.
However, I was very confident and comfortable riding the waves! I felt that I could still rest, laugh, and talk between contractions. I was feeling more and more excited too, since it seemed like we would likely be meeting baby that day or the next! Though I wasn’t hungry, Zach and Dallas encouraged me to eat. We had some Jimmy John’s, a favorite of mine :)
Around 7:30pm, I began to wonder when we should think about heading to the hospital.
Since I’d been having contractions for 7 hours at this point, I felt pretty sure I was actually in labor. I was fearful of stalling out at the hospital, since my labor with my daughter had been full of stalls.
Dallas told me that my contractions were coming about 2 or 2.5 minutes apart, and that we should be wherever I felt safest. Truly, I felt safe being either home or at the hospital! I was feeling very positive and happy. However, since I didn’t want to have a car baby or arrive at the hospital just in time to push, I decided that we should probably head in.
Zach called the hospital to let them know we were on the way, Zach and Dallas packed the car, and we were off!
During triage at the hospital, the nurse did a cervical check. You should have seen her face - total shock as she checked me! She said, “You are at a 7, and if I stretch… Wow! You should hear the girls screaming who come in here that far along!” She couldn't believe that I was so dilated, since I was still so quiet and calm.
For most of my labor, I didn’t need very much support other than kind, loving presence from Zach and Dallas. The pain of my contractions was only mild to moderate until the last few hours, and I felt confidence and calm as I navigated the waves.
I just had this innate sense that I could do it. I trusted my body and my baby to lead the way. I focused on my breath through each contraction and then rested in between.
Once we left triage at the hospital and got settled into the hospital room, it felt like my contractions became very intense very quickly.
Dallas set up the candles, twinkle lights, and pictures we had brought to the hospital in the most beautiful way, since I was too focused on my contractions to do it myself! The room was so soothing and relaxing during the most difficult part of my labor and the birth of my son.
I relied heavily upon the support of Dallas and Zach during that time. I listened to my body and moved into whatever position felt most manageable during contractions.
Eventually, my contractions were so strong, long, and close together that no position really felt comfortable any more. I also was lucky to have a bathtub in my hospital room; since my water had not broken yet, I was able to take a bath during transition which really helped to calm and comfort me.
I cried in the bathtub, telling Dallas and Zach how much the contractions hurt. I think that the emotional release of crying helped too.
As my labor intensified in the tub and I entered transition, I was in so much pain. Dallas and Zach were both steadfastly by my side. Dallas’ experience and knowledge of birth made me feel so safe. She knew exactly when to step in and when to step back, and she helped support both Zach and me throughout every step of the process. She gently encouraged me to relax my body and face, and did double-hip squeezes.
Zach loved me in his perfect, quiet way, soothing me by rubbing my shoulders, holding my hand, and making me the sole focus of his world in those moments.
I only pushed for 5 minutes. I pushed in an upright position holding on to the back of the hospital bed, and the pain was extremely intense during this stage of labor.
The OB who delivered me, Dr. Deen, was telling me, “Your baby is right here! Just a few more pushes!” and I remember thinking to myself, “Yeah right. There is no way!”
But she was right. He was born just a few minutes later! I gave birth less than 3 hours after arriving at the hospital, after about 10 hours total of labor.
I was in total disbelief. I couldn’t believe it: that our baby was finally here, that pushing was so fast, that my birth experience had been so wonderful this time, and that I DID IT!
I was overwhelmed with joy when I first held Ike and when we saw that he was a boy. The sex had been a surprise! We would have been thrilled either way, but we were especially excited to give our son my grandfather's name.
Ike ingested some amniotic fluid as he was born, so he wasn’t breathing well at first and did not cry. It was very scary!
He needed some extra help at the warmer getting the fluid out of his lungs.
I was very scared, but all of the doctors and nurses in the room were very reassuring.
About 15 minutes later, he was able to come back to me! We did skin to skin, and my heart was so full.
Ike looked just like his big sister to me, which was a happy surprise. He felt familiar to me already, like we’d met before, from the moment that I laid eyes on him.
I had a very difficult breastfeeding journey with my daughter. She needed to go to the NICU immediately after birth, delaying initiation of breastfeeding by about 6 hours. She was never able to latch without a nipple shield, and I ended up having to exclusively pump for her for 10 months because she could not effectively transfer milk. With Ike, I was able to do almost immediate skin to skin for over 2 hours, and he latched and fed!
I was overwhelmed with gratitude and relief.
Because of COVID, no family members were able to visit us at the hospital. However, Zach and I FaceTimed with my parents a few hours after Ike's birth.
We especially wanted to share his name with them first, since we'd named Ike after my father's father (my "Dado").
They were overjoyed to see us, baby Ike, and to learn his name!
Having a very positive birth experience after a traumatic one has shone a healing light over both my experiences as a birthing person.
I felt inadequate after my first birth, but I was the same woman giving birth both times! Birth is unpredictable and many factors are out of our control. I wish I could go back in time and give myself a huge hug during my daughter's birth.
I was equally amazing and equally strong during both births, even though they looked very different. No birthing person is less than another, because of the way that they give birth.
I am so infinitely grateful for the love that surrounded me as I gave birth to my son, and that my husband and I now have this experience as part of our love story.
Dallas was absolutely amazing. Her knowledge and experience about birth provided a calm and reassuring energy throughout my son’s birth. She truly was our “birth angel!” She reminded me to breathe and relax my face and shoulders as I labored, she supported my husband and empowered him to support me. Dallas was truly an irreplaceable part of our birth team! I will cherish the images from my son’s birth for the rest of my life. She captured the beauty and emotion of the day perfectly. I really couldn’t have asked for more!
Happy tears! Hailey and Zach, I can’t thank you enough for inviting me into this transformative, healing moment in your family’s life. Ike is so blessed to have you as his loving parents. Thank you for sharing your story with the world!
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