Birth After Infertility | Full Circle | St. Vincent’s Southside
Location: St. Vincent’s Southside in Jacksonville, Florida
OB: Dr. Marrow of Full Circle Women’s Care
Doula and birth photographer: Dallas Arthur Birth Stories & Support
Victoria tells the birth story of her long-awaited son, born at St. Vincent's Southside with Full Circle Women's Care, after a four year journey with infertility. I was thrilled that she added me to her birth team as both her birth photographer and her doula, and it was a joy to be a resource to her not only at the birth itself, but in the months before and after.
“Our birth story actually begins back in 2016 when we first started trying to conceive. At 27, I expected we'd be pregnant within a year even with my husband's successful vasectomy reversal. Since I'm writing our birth story in 2020, that obviously wasn't the case.
I could write a book on our journey to conceiving Marshall, but I'll keep it short and to the point. We started with 3 IUIs (medicated cycles doing insemination), then went on to do 5 IVF retrievals and 7 embryo transfers with a total of 15 embryos. Almost all of it failed, though one transfer worked, but we lost our daughter at 9 weeks of pregnancy. By the time we got to transfer #7, we were getting to the end. I still had a few left in me, but we were exhausted. Marshall was definitely the little embryo that could. Graduating from Brown Fertility was honestly something I never thought would happen.
From the start of this pregnancy, there was just a peace about it that I knew it would work out. After all our failures and the miscarriage, it shocked me that I could even feel that way. Maybe it was simply exhaustion from fighting an uphill battle the whole way, but I embraced it.
At 14 weeks, I contacted Dallas about her services. From that point on, she was an amazing and valuable resource for the "Is this normal?" questions I didn't feel warranted an OB. We hit it off pretty well in my opinion and talked with increasing frequency as pregnancy went on.
It's worth noting that I was considered a high risk pregnancy from the start. I was very used to medical intervention and lots of doctors visits so for me it was simply continuing business as usual. My birth plan from the start was "Mom and baby leave the hospital alive and well." I had preferences beyond that, but pretty much got a big fat zero in achieving any of those.
At 37+6 around 5am after becoming an Olympic sized swimming pool of amniotic fluid (seriously so much I couldn't even feel Marshall move any more), my water broke. I texted Dallas after I realized it broke, told my husband to go to work as I felt no contractions and then got a nice hot shower and called my mom to come with me to the hospital. All of this very calmly and super chill because that's just my personality. As we were getting in the car, I finally called Full Circle to let them know my water broke and I was headed to the hospital.
Of course we stopped at Starbucks on the way to the hospital. I only regret not getting a bigger breakfast before we went. If you're pregnant, go get a good breakfast before you go to the hospital if it's not urgent. Preferably something filling.
Once at the hospital, we got to visit triage (for a third time this pregnancy) to make sure we were acceptable for delivery. Let me tell you something about having polyhydramnios… there's A LOT of fluid. I went to the bathroom and left a trail of it there. It got in my Crocs (best hospital shoes, y'all). I soaked through the pads they had on the bed. It was a puddle of amniotic goodness. All I felt was relief from the pressure of that Olympic size swimming pool.
Marshall was entirely content to stay right where he was and my body was stupid about what it was supposed to be doing. Like having contractions. That important step in getting itself ready to have a baby. Y'all, my body is dumb about anything to do with reproduction.
This is where the real fun began and I did call for my husband to join us and for Dallas to head our way. My body didn't progress on its own so we start misoprostol so my cervix will begin dilating. My body doesn't like the misoprostol, so like a toddler, it throws a fit and we go into preeclampsia. My blood pressure shoots up to the 190s/110s. Oral meds don't bring it down, so out comes the magnesium drip. Magnesium sucks, do not recommend.
Luckily, I have never trusted my body and made sure Dallas and I talked through the ‘if things go wrong’ preferences. Originally I did not want an epidural as I wanted to be free to move about during delivery. However, I told her that if I went on magnesium, I wanted an epidural because being stuck in a bed and your legs being Jello sucks. I'm very glad we went through these worse case scenarios with more than just the standard basics.”
Laboring with magnesium is a challenge, period. While it is a life-saving medication that kept Victoria’s dangerously high blood pressure under control, it has a lot of not-so-fun side effects. I spent the night helping her battle those side effects: peppermint oil and cold wash cloths for headaches, swapping out ice packs for her hot flashes, and water and ice for dry mouth. Through it all, she continued to advocate for herself and express what she needed…I was so proud!
“By the way, my epidural rocked. A++ for the anesthesiologist.
As my cervix finally started to get with the program, my blood pressure decided to cooperate too well. I went from high blood pressure to 80/60 and crashing. After this point for me, it gets hazy. My oxygen saturation tanked. I vaguely remember the oxygen mask and Dallas telling me to breathe.
At some point on Sunday we did progress to the foley catheter where I do remember squirting more amniotic fluid right on Dr. Marrow. That at least started to get things going once the foley popped out.
After the foley we started Pictocin. Magnesium seriously makes you just loopy and fuzzy. I felt super okay about it, as I had Dallas to advocate for me and she knew my preferences. It freed up my husband to just be supportive and by my side.”
After a long night of high and low blood pressures, low oxygen, struggling to keep baby’s perfect heartbeat on the monitor, and position changes every half hour, Victoria finally got about three hours of sleep with an expertly placed epidural. She woke up at shift change and found she was 7cm dilated, then was 10cm and ready to push a few short hours later.
“When we finally got to the pushing part, the first few felt great. I realize now that the high I was getting after pushing was my oxygen going goodbye from my body.”
She wore an oxygen mask during pushing, taking it on and off herself as needed. Her husband didn’t leave her side for a second, holding her hand and coaching her through each and every contraction.
“It was hard to get my body coordinated to push with the fog and disconnect from the magnesium. My pushing was only so effective.”
I managed to set my camera on timer mode and get a shot of me supporting Victoria in my role as a doula, too!
“Dr. Marrow and the team at Full Circle were great at trying to get things to progress and encouraging even if they couldn't give me the answers I want. Mostly ‘How many more pushes?’ ‘How many more minutes?’ ‘How far is he?’
They were also great about not touching me when I asked. I am very much not touchy feely and there are A LOT of hands touching you during a delivery.
3 hours of pushing and I was tanked, running out of energy fast.
Options were discussed and we went for trying with the vacuum.”
Victoria had the chance to discuss the use of a vacuum with Dr. Marrow and had her questions answered. The important thing to keep in mind with the use of suction is that mom cannot be completely exhausted: it doesn’t work unless mom works with the suction and pushes with all her might. Finding that balance between giving it a try without intervention, but not waiting until she has no energy left was important, and she and Dr. Marrow communicated so well to find that sweet spot.
“Thankfully a few pushes with the vacuum and Marshall finally came to greet us on the outside.
Him getting placed on my chest all covered in goo was simply magical. I didn't want to let him go.
Everything we'd worked so hard for was finally there in our arms. Those first few moments with my husband and Marshall are some of the clearest memories.
Holding him close, I didn't want to let him go until I absolutely had to.
Everything it took to get him.
Everything that went wrong during labor. All of it was fine. I'm still okay with it. Honestly after the difficulty to get him, I expected delivery to be just as difficult. I was so used to rolling with the punches from IVF, I feel it prepared me for my labor experience. It could've been traumatizing, but having the goal end in sight and actually getting a baby at the end made it worth it. I'd do it all again and endure it all just to have him.”
In late October 2020 when Marshall was born, St. Vincent’s Southside allowed two visitors (who could swap out) and a doula as support. Victoria’s parents, who had been in the waiting room since the early morning, swapped out for her husband and came in to meet their grandson.
Victoria and Chaz, to say it was an honor to be chosen as your birth photographer and doula is such an understatement. To be by your side as you ran the last mile to finally bring your son into the world was so special to me, and your birth is one I will always remember!
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